HaHAA!: September 2004

Halloween: Costumes

It's only 32 days away, and it's time to get prepared! Everyone start working on your costume ideas. I don't necessarily mean absurdly huge productions, but get a good idea and, simple or not, execute it well.

If you're going to be a pirate for example, stop shaving your body immediately. I know this may be difficult to grasp for you ladies, but this is the level of commitment required. Find yourself a ratty tunic and spend one night a week sweating in it and spilling rum down your front. Be sure to let the rum out of your mouth during the last week in order to get the stink/stain on your chin. Next, find a spray bottle and fill it with salt water. Spritz yourself with this 'sea spray' after you shower every other day. This will give your skin the desired texture and smell.

How about if you want to be a ghost? Most critical here is keep your sun exposure to an absolute minimum, as no one ever bought the idea of a bronzed spirit. Rid yourself of all nail polish and gradually claw at the dirt as the days go by, thereby building up a perfectly mature level of digital disgust. Get your hands on a used formal outfit (people dying in their pajamas is horseshit) and begin to 'vintage' it. I recommend laying the outfit on bare earth and covering it with rocks, preferably of a size no greater than a fist. Now pull the outfit out from under the stones, allowing them to tear at the fabric and drive a certain level of dirt into the clothing. Do this repeatedly and be sure to flip it over each time you do this, otherwise you won't have a uniformed treatment.

I have other ideas on costumes, parties, and activities. I'll keep posting as I flesh them out. Everyone get psyched, this year is gonna be wicked awesome!

Die Electoral College Die

Don't worry, that post title is only German for, "The Electoral College The."

David S. Bennahum, whom I've never heard of, has posted some highlights from a talk of his on the need for, "abolishing the electoral college." Scary data I say. ACHTUNG!

Besbin Consumer Electronics

Is this dvd player from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? Does Lando lend his name to cheap hi-fi components? Has the whole world gone crazy?

Foothill College

Wow, it's such a beautiful day here at school. Thank God the Roach Coach is here to ruin it.

What the Fuck is this Shit?

What are we? From the new additions to the pen selection here at work, it would appear that we are all Rainbow Bright/My Little Pony superfans. However, I don't remember interviewing and being told, "You're really going to love it here! We all use these flaming glitter pens with giant Liberacci letters on them!"

We are men and women and we have differences. I seem to remember the girls my age using pens like these...when I was twelve!! I suppose the addition of these pens has upped the juvenile estrogen levels, and it is up to me to balance things out. I will be installing the shooting range behind the store this afternoon, so bring your camoflague fellas.

Hard at Work

This is what making ten stones an hour looks like. Those of you who believe the economy is in a rotten place, well you may be right, but dammit I love my job.

When a person like myself can make some scratch guarding a pool whose sole customer sits in a lawn chair, then life ain't so terrible. Reading by the afternoon sun beats a silly dot-com job any day.

Linguistics Issues

My statistics professor is Asian. Her grasp of the material and concepts is excellent by my account. However I am finding a similar issue with her class as I have found at the Admissions office, the Palo Alto Superior Court, and the DMV: English is not her first language.

This is not to say that she is difficult to understand, only that she has a difficulty understanding the students. I find the same issues when I must interact with admissions. The people working there are able to speak with very little impedence, but their recognition of what I say is not good enough.

Perhaps this is not limited to non-native English speakers. JLM and I stood with a man in one of the computer labs this morning. JLM explained what he felt the issue with the printing system was, and our lab proctor denied that, only to describe the problem with 99% the same language as JLM employed two minutes earlier.

Based on this second example, race is not the determining factor, and honestly be happier. I don't want to target immigrants as the source of stupidity. Regardless, why are so many people unable to interpret basic communication?!

Is it so difficult to stop, listen to what another human is saying, ask questions when necessary, and then answer effectively? I get the impression, both from our fearless lab proctor and our Stats prof, that there is a level of impatience that does not allow for dialogue. At no point in either instance today did these people ask for clarification on what had been said. Instead, the input received was dismissed as 'incorrect.'

I cannot understand why a simple question or two in order to better understand what has been said is so difficult. Perhaps we should start screaming at our superiors and striking them with cricket bats when they fail to inquire as to our meaning. Maybe that will encourage them to ask questions in order to better understand what we're saying.

Big Wig Saturday

It's a busy afternoon here at work, mostly in the theater. There's a special presentation by PowerMed and their electronic medical records software.

There's rumor of an SPJ appearance, so everyone's on their toes. If he shows up I'll do my best to post that as well-stay tuned sports fans!

Where's my Bag?

I have been in search of a proper bag for the last 10 years. I am obsessed with luggage, and as with all my obsessions, this search for a carry-all has bred with my gadget fetish. It's a question I have been wrestling with for some time now: What bag is the right bag for my paperbacks, notebooks, pens, sunglasses, PowerBook, iPod, headphones, Hiptop, camera, hard disk, batteries, as well as the transfer and power cables for...the paperbacks ;)

Needless to say this is a considerably difficult task for any bag, and thanks to the engadget community, which posed the very question a few days ago, I have found a host of new options in my lap. Below is my personal selection from both previous experience and my newfound options:

First is Maxpedition, who have gone to the trouble of publishing their entire catalog as seperate JPEG files (apparently web databases are just too much trouble for some folks). These offerings are have a couple of defining characterisitcs, which can be summed up by saying that they appear to have come from the Predator movies. I do like the Fatboy quite a bit, though it's not quite large enough to carry a PowerBook.

Next on the list, and a far departure from the survival-inspired Maxpedition bags, are Freitag bags. They fall much more into the stylelab universe, as they are made from Swiss semi-truck tarplans and can be custom cut. They are, aside from their unique construction and personalized design, essentially basic messenger bags.

This next entry comes from on of my managers at Apple, whom I share the same principle on how to chose a bag--MAS POCKETS. Courierware are out of Vermont, and while their basic construction and design comes again from the bike messenger community, they have addressed the critical pocket issue. Their Super Deluxe Courier Bag packs as many pockets into the traditional messenger design as I could imagine possible. A great execution I feel, but perhaps not 'techie' enough.

To answer that techie desire for compartments and 22nd century materials, Booq enters the fray. Both the Cobra.XM and the PowerSleeve12 ooze appeal from both construction and materials. However, similar to the Courierware bags, I feel that infinite interior compartments is just a half-step behind--what about 'superquick' (you're welcome IZM) access? For that I need external pockets.

Finally, the tried and true favorite, Waterfield Designs. This awesome San Francisco crew represent probably the best equipment I've had the pleasure of using. Their proper Cargo Bag is fabulous, and my SleeveCase and Gear Pouch have both been brilliant purchases. Their style is understated and elegant, though I feel their product design is beginning to show age, as little if any revision has been made to their offerings.

So there's my list. I always leave a back door open for late entries, though I feel I should be able to find the right choice from here. Leave me some comments, particularly you ladies, as I need to look manly, but not for men ;)

A New Day

Well I've obtained the latest iteration of my superfone and it rocks. One of the reasons for this rocking is the built-in camera.

I will take advantage of this fabulous feature to give you, my loyal reader (love ya JAK) even more insight into my daily grind.

Dave and Buster's Tonight

First off, here is the Google Local entry, which will allow you to generate directions.

Second, we should try to get there around 10pm. I may be running a bit behind, but I don't want to hold up the party train. I recommend that the first three of y'all to arrive should grab a table for six.

Third, I recommend bringing about US$40 to allow for food, drink, and of course skeeball!

Finally, for those who are interested in carpooling, feel free to decend upon the Apple Store and you can ride with me.

India is Crazy

This Tribune piece is either the answer to MonkeyPox, or proof that India has a long way to go before I take them seriously.

Field Testing the Tools of Tomorrow Testing some of the new software That has come out today. Mainly, a new version of NetNewsWire and a new application called MarsEdit. Pretty cool crap.